What if
by AnimeSnowflake
Summary: Here is just a fanfic that can answer any what if questions that you can think of with answers that contain hilarious results.
1. Yuki transforms at school

**Hello. Welcome to my 'What if . . ." fanfic! I had this idea in my head last night, and I just had to let it out. I hope it came out okay. As you can see, the first chapter is "What if Yuki transformed at school?" Well, this was what I came up with. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket whatsoever. Also, there might be some OOC moments, but I'm not sure. Well, please read anyways. Enjoy!**

* * *

It was a nice, regular school day. The sun was shining brightly, and there was barely a cloud in the sky. Yuki was organizing his paperwork alone in a school room. If only he knew the chaos that was soon to come. 

He silently sat there, wondering if it would be possible to find some peace and quiet later that afternoon. You see, the night before, there were several friends over. Momiji had decided that he and Haru would make a surprise visit. This lead to Kyo being driven mad by Momiji's hyperness, which meant a whole lot of shouting, Haru being unable to leave poor little Yuki alone, and Tohru constantly overreacting and running into walls.

"Will I ever have a normal, quiet evening ever again?" Yuki asked himself. However, before he could even answer himself, he heard the door open wide behind him.

A hyper and idiotic fan girl squealed with delight, said joyfully, "Yuki!!", and hugged him from behind. This caused him to change to rat form, of course, and being filled with panic, he scurried out of the room.

The rabid fan girl just sat there confused. (A/N: If you're thinking 'Why doesn't she realize that he turned into a rat?' then apparently you didn't read the first sentence in the last paragraph. It does say that she is stupid.) "Where did Yuki go?" she asked. "His clothes are all that are left. There is only one thing to do at a time like this. . . . . . . . Auction them on the internet! Yay!!!" With that being said, she skipped out of the room. (A/N: Those of you going 'ooooookaaaay' and sweat dropping, I'm kind of doing that myself. Right now I'm thinking 'wow, I have a deranged mind' but later, I'll probably be laughing my head off like crazy! Anyhoo, moving on!)

Meanwhile, Yuki was pretty much running for his life. "I need to find Honda-san," he thought frantically.

Suddenly, he heard many girly screams all around him. They all screamed something around the lines of, "Eek! A rat!"

At that very moment, a million pairs of feet tried to squash him. Yuki wished that he could have screamed right there at that very moment. He was officially mortified and majorly freaked out. This caused him to run even faster.

Then, as if by mere coincidence, he saw Tohru with her friends at the other side of the crowd. He no longer cared if he was embarrassed. Yuki just wanted to escape the millions of feet surrounding him.

Meanwhile, Tohru was having a wonderful time talking to Momiji, Uotani, Hanajima, and Kyo. Surprisingly, they were completely oblivious to the whole 'rat freak out' about fifteen feet away. She was just about to comment on a story that Hana-chan told when at that moment, something gently clutched her leg.

She looked down a little and saw a small, grey rat holding on and looking quite frightened. Becoming worried, she excused herself and left. Kyo and Momiji followed, understanding what was going on when they saw the grey clump at Tohru's ankle.

Later that evening, Yuki sat in the corner of the house, fully dressed and still scared about the earlier events.

He sat there, saying, "So . . . many . . . feet! So . . . scary! Find a happy place. Find a happy place! FIND A HAPPY PLACE!"

"Please calm down, Yuki-kun," Tohru said, worried about him, and who wouldn't? The guy was almost stomped to death!

However, Kyo was laughing like crazy. Apparently, he thinks and I quote, "This is the best day ever! A terrible day for that damn rat is a marvelous day for me!"

_Afterwards, Yuki had locked himself in his room, refusing to come out. The next morning, Hatori came and erased that little incident from his memory so he wouldn't be traumatized for life. The crazy, stupid fan girl made a fortune from the internet, and never thought about what had happened the day before. So, in general, things went back to normal, except for the fan girl, who was wallowing in the joys of Yuki and money._

_

* * *

_

**Well, there it is. I hope you liked it! Please review and request for more 'What if . . ." questions. Be careful though, because the last volume I have read is volume 9. And this may seem stupid for me to ask, but if you are a Naruto fan as well, please read my fanfic, _The Rain's Shimmer._ Well, that's it for tonight. See ya later!**


	2. Kyo watches Hello Kitty

**Welcome back! Thank you all for reviewing, and a special thanks to _NintendoQueen _for the "What if . . ." question for chapter 2. Today's question, "What if Kyo watched Hello Kitty?" Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or a pet kitty. :( **

**A/N: Just because I typed up these dirty words doesn't mean that I actually talk like this. Just to make sure you all know. Well, anyhoo, moving on! (Oh, and there might be slight OOC-ness too, but I don't know.)**

* * *

It was a dull, cloudy day at school. (A/N: I bet some of you thought that I was going to say that it was a bright and sunny day like chapter 1. However, this weather has to fit the attitude that a certain someone has now.) Kyo walked through the hallway, sulking. 

Today just wasn't his day. People have been going up to him, saying, "Hello, kitty," since that morning. He would never forgive Shigure for what he made him do the night before.

The night before . . . (A/N: Now isn't that specific? I just had to say that. Sorry!)

Kyo sat on the floor. He had just come home from a loooooong day of training at the dojo, and boy was he in a crabby mood.

"Dammit, why is there nothing on?" Kyo shouted at the T.V.

Then, as if on cue, Shigure came from behind and said, "I know what you could watch, Kyo-chan!" He suddenly grabbed the remote and pressed the buttons. The next thing he knew, Kyo was staring at a girly, white cat on the screen looking very girly, indeed.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled in an outrage. "Why would I watch this crap, you stupid dog?!?! I would rather die than watch this girly show!"

As he was about to change the channel, Tohru came into the room. As soon as she saw the screen, she squealed, "Oh, what a cute little kitty! Can we watch this just once, please?"

Kyo faced the ultimate dilemma at that very instant. He thought, "Oh, shit! What do I do? If I watch this, Shigure and the damn rat won't quit laughing about it, and if I don't, I'll have to deal with the guilt of being mean to Tohru. What the hell am I going to do?"

Then, as soon as Tohru looked at him with those sparkling puppy-dog eyes (A/N: This is a weird pun to use, seeing as Shigure is the dog . . . . . funny.), he went, "Oh, alright, but only for today."

Present Time

So that leads us to today. Like Kyo thought, Yuki and Shigure didn't forget about last night's events and told Haru and Momiji about it. Somehow, even Arisa and Saki found out that Kyo had watched 'Hello Kitty'.

They just kept going up to him, saying "Hello, kitty," in mocking tones for the entire day. Later, at the end of the day, Momiji happily said, "Hello kitty!!" for the twentieth time as he, Tohru, Haru, Yuki, and Kyo met at the front of the school.

That was when Kyo finally snapped.

He angrily shouted at the top of his lungs, "IF ONE OF YOU IDIOTS SAYS 'HELLO KITTY' ONE MORE F---ING TIME, I SWEAR I WILL KILL THAT PERSON AND SEND THEM STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!!!!!"

Everyone stared at him, Tohru and Momiji both looking quite frightened (A/N: I'm kind of afraid too, and I'm the one writing this out. Man, I'm good at scaring myself!), and Kyo just stood there, steaming mad.

Kyo took this as a sign that they would shut up about the whole thing, but as he began to head home, Yuki decided to see if his threat was real. He said, "Hello, stupid kitty."

Kyo's rage hit a whole new level, and he started to chase Yuki around the entire school, screaming, "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU DAMN RAT!!!!!!!"

Tohru, getting extremely worried (A/N: Wait a minute. Worried isn't a good enough word. I think a more appropriate term would be extremely terrified and almost about to die of fear! Yeah, that will work.), frantically said, "You really shouldn't have said that, Yuki-kun."

As he was chased back to the entrance, Yuki just replied, "It's not my fault he's stupid," and went running off away from the kitty cat with extreme anger issues.

_Afterwards, the two boys got worn out from running around so much. As soon as they came to a stop, before they could do or say anything else, Tohru rapidly apologized to Kyo, thinking that it was all her fault that he was teased that day. In fact, she was speaking so fast that she ran out of breath and passed out. This gave the boys quite a scare, and they had to carry her home. As soon as she woke up, she tried to apologize again. However, Kyo was scared that she would pass out again, so he just made sure that she would stop apologizing. As for the whole 'Hello Kitty' incident, people forgot about it after three days or so. So things eventually did get back to normal, and Shigure likes tea. (A/N: Why the heck did I just say that? Wow, I'm random!)_

_

* * *

_

**Wow, this chapter took forever for me to type. My fingers actually feel sore from all of that typing. (Not really, but whatever!) Please review, and remember to send me your own "What if . . ." questions! Peace out!**


	3. Shigure's Personality Change

**Hello, and welcome back, folks! I have had serious writer's block with this story, and I am so sorry I kept you waiting! _Panda-Chan21, _this chappie has your requested "What if. . ." question! _On Soaring Wings, _I'm working on how to answer your "What if. . ." question in my head. _Pixie-stix-rock, _I will also try my best to answer your "What if. . ." question.**** The next question is, "What if Shigure hit his head and his personality completely changed?" Continue to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I won't own Fruits Basket until I can get my hands on a device that will let me live in any anime dimension that I wish. When I do own such a device, I will enjoy the worlds of Fruits Basket, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Naruto. That won't be happening anytime soon, though.**

**-WARNING! MAJOR OOC-NESS TO FOLLOW, NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE QUESTION, BUT ALSO FOR HUMOR PURPOSES-**

* * *

It was late in the afternoon with many white and fluffy clouds covering the sky.(A/N:Isn't it funny how I always start with weather descriptions?) The sun was setting in the distance, turning the sky orange, and speaking of orange, Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru all happened to be walking home at this exact moment. (A/N: I bet you thought that I was just going to keep talking about the weather, huh? No, I must continue the story, so onward!) 

As they neared the loud, eventful place they called home, Yuki and Kyo were once again having a stupid and pointless arguement. Let's listen, shall we?

"Fish."

"Cheese."

"Fish!"

"Cheese!"

"FISH!!"

"CHEESE!!"

As the two debaters entered their house, Shigure managed to hear the shouting coming from them. He asked his female friend, "Tohru-kun, what are Yuki-kun and Kyo-chan fighting about now?"

Tohru walked into Shigure's office, greeted him, and replied, "I'm not sure, Shigure-san. I think it's something about if cheese or fish is better."

Shigure burst into laughter hearing this. For about two seconds, even the young Sohma gentlemen stopped their fighting and stared at him with odd looks. After Shigure recovered from his laughter, he said, "That is the most idiotic fight yet!" (A/N: I'll say it is, and I can't believe I thought of this! I seriously think I'm becoming stranger and stranger as the days go by. I thank my friends and fanfiction for this. You guys rock! Now, where was I? . . . Oh, yeah! Shigure had just finished his laughing fit. Well, anyhoo, moving on!)

About two milli-seconds passed before the pointless arguement continued going strong. It was continued by kitty boy, who said, "Come on, Shigure! Even you have to agree that fish is much better than cheese!"

Before Shigure could even open his mouth, Yuki replied, "That is not true! Not only is cheese better for you than fish, but it has a better taste, too."

"You're crazy, you damn rat! Fish is way better than cheese, and I can prove it! Fish builds your muscles so you can have the strength to break bones, so FISH IS BETTER!!"

"That may be, you stupid cat, but cheese contains calcium. Calcium builds strength in bones, so strong muscles are completely useless. That makes CHEESE BETTER!!"

"I SAY FISH IS BETTER, SO FISH!!!"

"CHEESE!!!"

"FISH!!!"

"CHEESE!!!"

They continued screaming in each others' faces for about two minutes, but then Shigure made the mistake of intervening. He said casually, "I can't believe you two are fighting over something so ridiculous, and only to get Tohru-kun to like you more. For shame, gentlemen. For shame. . ."

The two so-called 'gentlemen' twitched and turned their heads towards Shigure. They were so mad that if they were bombs, they would have already exploded. (A/N: Wow, that line was so corny!)

They stared at him evily for about a billi-second. Then they both charged at him with the intent to kill in their eyes.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU STUPID F---ING DOG!!!" They both shouted in unison. (A/N: Whoa. I'm actually making them agree on something. That's when you know they are OOC. Anyhoo, moving on!)

That was when Kyo made his move. He attempted to punch Shigure right in the face, only to have the dog step backwards and mock him by saying in a sing-songy voice, "You missed me! You missed me!" At his second attempt, though, Shigure stepped back and tripped over his chair. He fell to the floor with a very hard 'thud' and bonked his head against the bookshelf. This caused a chain reaction which resulted in several books falling and landing on his head one by one. (A/N: Now, I'm going to count to three, and when I say go, say 'Oh! That's gotta hurt!' Ready? Three, two, one, go! -shouts the sentence I refuse to write again- Okay, those of you that actually did this, please review at the end of the chappie. One more thing. Shigure fans, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I have nothing against Shigure! Heck, he's one of my favorite characters in the manga! I just needed to do this. Anyhoo, moving on!)

As soon as the catastrophic event ended, Tohru became more scared then she was in the last chappie. She ran over to Shigure while shouting his name, and she began desperately trying to wake him up.

Meanwhile, Yuki began pinning the blame on Kyo, saying, "Good going, stupid cat." Kitty boy's response was, "Hey! Don't blame me, you damn rat!" (A/N: Oh. . . . . my god. I . . . made them . . . . . . rhyme. . . . . . . . . AUGHHHH!!! THAT IS TOTALLY FREAKY!!! I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF STOP DOING WEIRD THINGS LIKE THIS!! -starts bonking head on desk before pausing and taking deep breaths- Oh, don't mind me. Just continue the story. -continues previous actions-)

"Shigure-san!" Tohru shouted again. "Shigure-san! Are you alright?"

Suddenly, Shigure became wide awake, but something was different about him. Instead of having a goofy, carefree expression on his face, he had a cold stare with a frown, and he actually looked very serious. As he said to Tohru, "I'm quite alright, Tohru Honda-san," everyone noticed that he suddenly had a British accent.(A/N: -finishes banging head on desk- Just so you all know, I don't actually know what Shigure sounds like in the anime. I just gave him a British accent because it is the accent of the very intelligent, and also, British accents are SO AWESOME! I'm sorry I keep interrupting. Continue.)

They all stared at the man who was, infact, Shigure Sohma with their mouths agape. Ignoring this, Shigure said, "Now, Kyo-san, Yuki-san, you must learn to look past your differences and get along with each other. Tohru Honda-san, you may begin cooking our meal now. As for myself, I shall finish my novel so my editor won't have to go through any trouble."

". . ." Silence followed. Finally, there was a response.

"Who the hell are you, and what happened to Shigure?" Kyo asked angrily. Tohru just continued to stare, awed by Shigure's new behavior. Yuki, on the other hand, went straight to the phone while he thought, "I need to call Hatori-san. He will not believe this!"

**Three hours later(at about, say, 6:15)**

Hatori opened the door with Ayame and Shigure's editor right behind him. Before Yuki could question why his brother was there, Hatori said, "He heard what happened and wants to, as he puts it, 'save his buddy from being consumed by the darkness that is my influence'."

"It's not true! Shigure couldn't have changed! Please say it isn't so, my little brother!!!" Ayame shouted with worry in his voice. Yuki just decided to lead them to Shigure's office. When they arrived, however, the sight that met their eyes was incredibly unbelieveable.

Shigure had finished printing out his finished product, and instead of wearing his usual outfit, he wore a business suit as black as midnight with a white undershirt and a red tie. Even Yuki blinked at him, even though he already saw Shigure's strange behavior.

Suddenly, Ayame shouted out, "NOOOOOOO!! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU, SHIGURE?!? YOU HAVE GONE TO THE DARK SIDE!!!"

While the snake-man crawled into the corner of Shigure's office, whimpering and crying very loudly, Shigure said in that incredibly smexy British accent, "You are so foolish, Ayame-san."

"Whoa," Yuki muttered softly. "If that's how he acts when Shigure changes, I wonder what he'd do if I became like that."

It was at this moment that Kyo and Tohru came in the room. "What's going on in here?" Kyo asked, curious from the loud bawling. (A/N: Kyo should watch out. Curiousity killed the cat! Hee hee.) He looked into the room and said, "Oh. Ayame just saw the dog's drastic change."

After a few more seconds, Shigure walked to the other five people I refuse to mention and said, "Hatori-san, I am terribly sorry about troubling you with my behavior. I've acted foolish. Mitsuri-san, here's my novel. I think you'll be pleased."

They both just stared at him in bewilderment. Finally, Hatori said, "Wow. He's like a mini-me."

"What do we do, Hatori-san?" Tohru asked, worried about whether or not this was good or bad.

Then, the doctor said something totally out of character.(A/N: Wait a minute. They are all at least a little bit out of character. Oh, well. Moving on, and I swear, this will be my last 'in the middle of the story' author note.) He exclaimed, "Why do anything? I like the new Shigure! He's less annoying now."

"I like him too!" Mitsuri said. "He turns in the manuscript on time, and I admire his new voice. I think it's HOT!"

At this, everybody twitched a WHOLE lot! Hatori joined his little "mini-me" and glared at Ayame with him. Then, there was silence.

Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo decided that things were okay after two minutes and left to eat dinner. (A/N: If you want to know what their eating, just use your imagination. . . . OH NO! I MADE ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! I'M A VERY BAD GIRL!! -goes spastic and runs into a wall-)

_Well, Shigure's new personality lasted for two weeks, during which everyone except Ayame was enjoying it while it lasted. The fun ended when Shigure went upstairs to help Tohru with the laundry. He had tripped down the stairs with a full load of laundry in his arms. This led to yet another painful chain reaction where dog boy hit his head on the stairs several times. When he regained consciousness, he was his old self once more, and things went back to normal._

* * *

**FINALLY! I FINISHED MY UPDATE! I may have suffered serious head trauma, but it is worth it to finish this chappie. Now for last minute announcements. First, in my next chappie, I will reveal how many people actually said, "Oh! That's gotta hurt!" earlier. Second, I have finished reading up to volume 16 of Furuba, so if you have any new "What if. . ." questions, you may tell me. Third, the next story I will update is my crossover, so don't rush me with the next chappie! Finally, I wish to thank everyone who reads my stories. YOU'RE THE BEST!!! I hope you enjoyed the update. Peace out!**


End file.
